I am pretty much available all the time, except for our daughter’s weekly scheduled music therapy and her companion takes her two days a week from 9-5. That’s when I schedule my personal appointments that I can’t take her with.

I find myself inviting people over now that the weather is nice, just so I have a reason to be happy and excited. Yay! Someone is coming over! It’s a big deal!

Most days it’s just me and our daughter. I love her to pieces and I’m so grateful she’s here and she gives me love in her own way and I will never put her in a group home until I’m not capable of taking care of her. But that’s another story.

I had a newer friend over, she’s only 35 and has been a widow since she was 30 and her daughter was about 2 at the time of her dad’s passing.

And I think I’m having a hard time…

She was at the time in her life when most of her generation were just getting started in their lives both personally and most of all, professionally, because that’s what society wants to know by a certain age… what do you plan to do for the rest of your life? And she was faced with losing a man she loved and raising a 2 year old… without a dad…

Most assume it’s because at that young age, when there’s no man in the picture, it’s either because they weren’t married or it’s a divorce situation. And it didn’t work out.

It wasn’t until one time, she heard her daughter say to another parent, and God love her, she said “No, my daddy’s dead.”

She’s only 7, and since her dad’s been gone since she was two, she hasn’t grasped all these concepts… will she ever? I don’t know.

I hope she feels the love of her dad. There are some videos, but he was hitting the downfall of his illness just after her birth. As if that was his goal, to see her being born, and then two years later he was gone.

I told her mom, you both are welcome here anytime. Just let me know. I won’t be so lonely… her daughter can enjoy the hot tub and Stella, our cat.

And I can be that neutral ground, if and when, she needs a neutral ground for a “new” interest.

See, you never know the why’s.

Why is that car driving so slow? Maybe there’s a crockpot in the car and they don’t want anything to spill.

Why is there no man in a woman’s life? Maybe he passed away.

Why did God take Steve? It was his time and maybe God needed him more than I did.

So, the next time you look at the cover of a book, actually open it and read some pages. You might be interested in what that cover actually represents.

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