Another year has passed us by. I hope all our years are good – great would be even better, but if you are reading this, chances are you’re dealing with a loss, a significant loss.

I keep pushing forward as most of us will. Why? Because it’s not my time yet. I believe we all have a time of expiration like food products. Nothing lasts forever. Some of us might make our choice on when to go but then isn’t that also our predetermined expiration date? I don’t know.

I’ve started following Julie, aka “spilledmilkmomma” on Instagram. She lost her husband just 4 weeks after giving birth to their second child. My oh my, when I think about how my loss is compared to hers… comparing our experiences to others is something we all tend to do, but truthfully no one’s loss is greater than any others. I believe it’s the strength we are given to deal with that loss, it gets us through day by day.

It’s been a year and 8 months since Steve passed away.

Things that I am working to change are:

  • I can no longer say in a conversation that he passed away last year, because that was 2021 and now it’s 2023. It’s hard to adjust to the time that’s gone by.
  • I can no longer procrastinate around the house. After all, if I don’t complete a task on one day, there is no one to help me out as the workload around the house begins to mount and then I’ll be overwhelmed and just give up.
  • I vow to eat lunch out at least one time by myself in 2023. Who doesn’t like a great lunch served to them? It’s the hurdle of getting over being by myself that’s the challenge. But I can do it, it’s only lunch… right?
  • I need to realize that with inflation, I will also have to curb my spending. And that means cutting back on traveling, getaways that might be needed to remove me from my reality. It means that Steve’s deer will only be fed every other day instead of daily since the price of corn has doubled since he started feeding them and I’ve carried it on.
  • But, it also means I will not give up on being that person at the farmers market that pays it forward for just $20 a week. That produce could be much needed by a family and I’m sure it’s just a partial on their bill.
  • I will keep on trying to be kind and when my temper gets the best of me, I won’t instantaneously react. I’ll give it time and realize that I’m glad I did because otherwise, that would have made me a rotten tomato. And I believe in karma.

So, there you have it. Not many new resolutions, just improving on me.

I’ll always be a mom.

I’ll always be Steve’s wife.

I’ll always be a sister, friend, cousin, neighbor. But these hats that I wear are those that I will keep trying to improve upon.

So… happy new resolutions to me… and to you!

May you be better, mentally, physically and emotionally in 2023! ☮️

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