I had this conversation with Steve in my thoughts.

I always was in some form or another in retail management, so personal relationships were frowned upon, and the hours that I worked were long and unpredictable, especially during the holidays. So, I never had a “bestie,” a gal pal, or anything of that nature.

Steve was my bestie. We knew what to expect of each other, how we would react and respond to any situation.

We both had friends, mostly Steve, that we would go out with and have some great times. Steve’s best friend was Brad, not to be confused with Steve’s son. Brad was such an integral part of our lives. I called him our son, he called Steve Pappy. He is one hell of of great friend! We could count on each other, Brad would fall asleep by our bonfire… just checking to make sure it was safe… 😉

Brad suffered a stroke in his early 40’s. And while he could no longer work side by side with Steve, life’s sneaky snake has its twists!

When Steve was going through his treatments in 2020, some restaurants were starting to re-open, and we set aside Tuesdays for “Pappy ‘n Brad” night. It was great to see the two of them carrying on like they were 20 years ago or so.

I’m not sure either of them knew that they may never pass this way again, but I knew this was Steve’s best friend for life and it felt good.

So, what I’ve come to realize, is that I’m now searching for a bestie. Maybe I’m trying too hard because I’m lonely. My bestie is gone. Our kids have been very supportive and understanding. I love them for all that.

Maybe I just need more time. Maybe I’m trying too hard to fill that “bestie” void.

After all, Rome wasn’t built in a day.