I find it odd , that most people don’t really think . They don’t think about being in your shoes because let’s face it, they are not. Lucky them !

Sometimes, they speak and don’t realize what they are saying. They mean to be helpful and say, “ it’s ok for you to date”. As if I needed their approval or they might think less of me if in fact I did date.

Here are a few instances…

On the Nextdoor app, which I follow because it’s based on my community, a female posted that she was downsizing, her husband actually passed one day after Steve. Steve passed on 5/1/2021 and her husband passed on 5/2/2021.

The fact is, she chose to say she was a widow, nothing wrong with that, I also did say that , for a while , until I felt I no longer had that stamped on my forehead. I didn’t have the strength to carry on with life unless I said it. It’s not the same as a divorce but people need to know that. When you say , “ my husband used to do this “, and truly, they just need to be compassionate.

Back to the origin of this conversation. A male had asked this female if she was dating!!! Nothing was pertinate to her post! Unless they knew each other previously but then they should have contacted each other on that same level. She was just at a point in her life that she was ready to let go of some things.

Her response, and good for her, was, she had already remarried.

This is all based on my personal perception and not facts. It’s just how I would feel.

I have a handy man, who is very knowledgeable. He offered to introduce to me to another male the also does some odd jobs for . My handy man thought we might have a lot in common… the cars in my driveway… the grill on my patio… but these are the things that Steve and I grew together with and loved. I’m not sure that these alone would bond me to some one else. After all, Steve and I were together for 27 years.

My handy man apologized after I declined his thoughts. He meant well, but he’s not ever been in my shoes.

Bottom line..,please.. just think before you speak or engage in a conversation with someone who has lost a loved one. Whether it was a spouse, a child, a close friend, … put yourself into their deepest part of life … before you speak…

Please just think 🤔