I’m sorry I have not told you or anyone about my life in the last 4 weeks or so. But… that’s life!
I took a break because my youngest sister was also going through the same life decisions, tragedy that we all go through at some point in life. Hers was very bittersweet.
Steve and I were married
We lived a happy, healthy life, we enjoyed a lot together.
Tragedy struck in 2001, the aftermath that continued after 9/11…bomb scares, evacuations…
As a result of a bomb scare, and the evacuation of the airport while she and her family were traveling, it changed my sister, her 3 young children, and most of all her husband, he became a quadriplegic.
Her husband passed away after 22 years of dealing with this aftermath.
Every year, when we mourn those lives lost, I think about my brother in law and how it changed his life, and think about how many others that might have suffered also due to the attacks… bomb threats, heart attacks.. stress… anxiety…
I spent the last four weeks with her, just doing things that she could do, but the little things she shouldn’t be concerned with.
When friends would visit, I would help prepare, clean up. The last thing she needed was to worry about a mess in the morning.
As I know, and it’s sad… within a week, she was dealing with phone calls and texts and emails. People want to express themselves about your loss, and the legal aspects kick in immediately. One really never gets the option to mourn, absorb, realize or rationalize what has just happened.
There should be a law that allows you to grieve and realize what has happened in your life which is so monumental. Maybe a 30 day moratorium… before all the legal bs kicks in.
While I was there, no matter how many hours she spent on the phone or computer, we declared 4 pm as our happy time. We put dinner in the oven, poured ourselves some wine, sat outside for some sun and vitamin D, and talked. We talked about anything, wherever the conversation took us. I offered her some legal advice, but I let her lead the conversations… I had been there but she’s now here.
One of the most important things she’ll learn is that things will settle down. She will now have to find herself, as an empty nester, a widow, living by herself with no caretakers coming and going, no time constraints, she’ll have more privacy and time to reflect on her life and where she’s headed.
All our paths are different, for different reasons.
It’s now her time to take a hiatus…