Why do I spend so much time analyzing our relationship now that Steve is gone? I don’t know. I never gave it a second thought because it was so natural between us. 

He accepted me and my three kids from a previous marriage and I accepted him and his son from a previous marriage. We took on all the “baggage” that came with each of us. And so it was. 

He knew that one of my kids has special needs, and he lovingly helped with her, to help me. He was always a team player. He loved me so much, and he thought of my kids as his kids. He loved them and never referred to them as step kids. He loved having a family. 

Maybe we don’t think of or analyze our relationships in the moment because we are too busy raising our next generation, those who will carry on our traditions… family rituals… but we need to always make sure we have an impact in their life in one way or another. 

We have some of Steve’s special recipes from our Polish side of the family made from scratch… gołumpki… haluski… pierogi… foods that Steve made and are part of our heritage. 

But then you have the recipes that “mom” is famous for… Beef stroganoff… parsley potatoes… and noodles with bread crumbs, a staple my kids loved that originally came from their grandmother on their dad’s side.

I never gave our love or life together a second thought. Maybe I look back now, because I’m still here and he is waiting for me. Was he as happy as I was? Was I selfish? What could I have been better at now that I think his life was cut short? 

The truth is, we all think we are doing our best . But so much of the outside gets in our way and we are judged on our decisions. 

So let’s no longer judge. 

Let’s not analyze anymore… just accept… and let everyone walk in their own shoes in their own path.