If he thinks he’s going to crush me over this battle, he should think again. I know what Steve did at the time to get out of his marriage, many of us have been there. But he signed on the dotted line out of his love for his son, not knowing what the road to the future would lead us to. I can’t be angry at Steve for something he did over 27 years ago. However, I think his ex-wife has some issues over all this time about how happy he was, moving forward with his life and with me and my three children as part of the deal. In fact, Steve’s mom had pulled him aside at one point and said, “Are you sure you know what you’re doing?”

Obviously, he was sure.

I think we always hope for the best. Who was I to tell Steve, “Honey, you’re going to die from this.” Maybe I could have gently suggested that we take a look at what he owned. We never put much thought into how we spent our money – if we could afford it, we would buy it. So after his diagnosis, my focus was taking care of the man I loved, not about what would happen to all of his stuff upon his death. I get that there are rules and state laws and statutes, but looking back on his son’s lack of involvement and self-chosen distancing, I feel that some rules should be made to be broken.

We had always reached out to his son over the years. It seems like he snapped all of a sudden and decided he didn’t need a father. Unless it was convenient… to co-sign a loan, to pay for part of a wedding rehearsal dinner. We had family photos taken at his wedding but were never asked to view or pay for any. My Steve had to walk out onto the dance floor as part of the introduction with his ex-wife on his arm, while I sat at our table, not acknowledged. He was Steve’s son, not mine, so it wasn’t my place to interfere. Even after 21 years… it was their special day. I took the high road, no acknowledgement, just helped foot the bill the night before… strange but true.

I feel like I am battling for what seems like my second divorce. Fueled by the divorce papers his mother gave him…. Who does that, by the way? Who actually gives their kids a copy of their divorce papers? unless they are greedy and just can’t accept the last 27 years. They were not truly in love but were in it for the monetary gains and they will have to reconcile with their past with a higher being because I believe it’s all about karma.

Am I a Loser? In no way shape or form, even if I have to turn over some household goods, or some of Steve’s monetary gains.

Am I a winner? Heck yeah, because I had the benefits of having a great man in my life, with an ocean full of memories. We had an awesome life together, so money isn’t that important versus the love we shared.

So – if he thinks he’s going to crush me over this battle, he should think again. Because I am a winner. And all along I had the ultimate prize – my man Steve.

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