I don’t know what it is. I may never know what it is, but isn’t there a reason for something…everything?
I think I was watching Big Little Lies. I’ve been watching so much on Netflix, Hulu, HBO Max and Disney+, I have to text my daughter or Google which platform it’s on. Anyway, I think the character played by Reese Witherspoon said it best – “You don’t enter into marriage thinking about what if we divorce.” Likewise, you also don’t enter into a marriage thinking about who will die first, or what will happen when one of you dies. If you did, your life would be all gloom and doom.
But if you remember the traditional wedding vows: I, Theresa, take you Stephen, to be my lawfully wedded husband, from this day forward, for richer for poorer,in sickness and in health , to love and to cherish, til death do us part, according to God’s holy ordinance and thereto I pledge thee my faith.
Steve and I nailed every part of those vows and then some.
He took on three step children, I took on one. To say there were not challenging times would be a lie. But I know neither of us would have any regrets!
But what made Steve want to date me in the first place? I don’t know. I wasn’t very trusting, but he gave me time. Patience.
What made him take on the raising of three children aged 6-11, one of whom has special needs? Honor and responsibility.
Why did Steve drive by our current house with a “for sale” sign, and took me to an open house that weekend? We had just both gotten out of divorces. Hope.
Why did I finally say “yes” to his proposal? He said he did it 5 times, I only remember 2. Trust and perseverance.
We were always planning, our next steps, what we wanted out of our future together. But we weren’t so rigid to think that plans wouldn’t change along the way. Stability and reliability.
We entered into our marriage to build a future together. We were together for 27 years and married for 22. While that doesn’t shatter any time records, those years were spent living out our vows and we really didn’t know it.
Why? Because even through the rough times, it became easy. We never had to remind ourselves of what we said to each other. The thoughts, words, and actions were inherent to our every day lives.
Maybe if one of us married for money, it would have been a struggle… of power or dominance. What if we married for convenience? Then we probably would have just co-existed. I’ll never know since we never married for the money, or for convenience. We didn’t marry for any reason other than love.
I could gloat and make this all about me – Why am I sad? Why will I be spending the last third of my life without him? Why was he taken from me? I could go on and on. But the truth is, this just isn’t about me…
It’s about us. The vows we took, the life we lived, the hopes, the dreams we had, our future together, be it long or short.
The only reason or why that I can think of to any question is – love. Pure and simple. And you realize that the most when someone is taken from you.
There is a reason for everything. And for me the reason is love.