I’m on my second trip as a widow, just shy of 3 months after Steve’s passing. He was supposed to go one this trip, and he’s here, he’s already showed me several times.

I’m traveling with a young friend and her 6 year old daughter. We’re at a beach on the East coast. Anyone who has traveled with a 6 year old during her first trip ever, and to a beach no less, knows the extent of excitement and energy she has! On the contrary to what you might think, her only fault so far is she’s a fussy eater. So to please her, I’ve been letting her mom choose our dinner menus. She chose pizza last night to be delivered to our room. Sometimes after a day in the sun, you need to stay in at night. There must be a thousand pizza places in any given city or town – pizza chains, family owned pizzerias, Italian restaurants with fancy Neapolitan-style pizza, places with pizza appetizers… the list could go on and on.

On this night, she chose Marco’s Pizza, the chain. It’s not a big deal to most, but to me it was a striking coincidence, since Steve always wanted to try their pizza. We would see the commercial for them on TV all the time. We had none in our area yet, so we never had the opportunity to try it. Now I am and he is not here to share it with me. Luckily, for Steve, it was just pizza, nothing to write home about, but out of all the pizza places in the area she could have chosen – why did she choose Marco’s?

Second coincidence: I’m at the beach playing Scrabble on my phone, as I often do. An ad comes on for Bermuda. The date is 7/31, we were married on 8/8/99. So in just one week or so, it would be the anniversary of when we flew to our honeymoon destination of – you guessed it – Bermuda! Why would I get this sign? I’ve never gotten a commercial for to travel to Bermuda before – so why now?

Maybe it’s because I’m at the beach. He should be at the beach, too. So he sent me an ad for a very special beach. It’s where we spent a very special time in our lives. He and I would likely be sitting here today, talking about our anniversary, our happy years together, and reminiscing about Bermuda – our place.

And one more coincidence: Shortly after Steve passed away, I got the cable bill in the mail. We’re on auto pay, but we get a paper statement every month anyway. Along with the bill came the advertised video-on-demand brochure. And the cover was the Tom & Jerry movie. Steve had often talked to me and our son Paul about how he wanted to see this movie. He thought it would be hysterical, based on the old school version of Tom & Jerry that he grew up with. He never got to see the movie – but we may soon have a movie night when all my kids are home in September!

I’m sure I’m going to keep seeing things, which I believe are not just coincidences, but signs. I’ll watch Tom & Jerry with him in my mind and heart. I ate the Marcos pizza, thinking of Steve with every bite. I’ll always reminisce about Bermuda, and some day make it back.

And, as always… I’ll keep my self open for signs… no coincidences… just signs. Because that’s what keeps me going forward… signs sent from Steve, letting me know he’s okay, and that he’s watching over me.

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