Famous words often used for various reasons.

They weren’t the original thoughts of this post but it’s true.

I’m sorry if I’m repeating myself but at the end of 2024 , during the holidays, I finally found that I had become my own person again. I was still and always will be a grieving widow but I no longer feel that I have to announce it. My heart is lighter in that way.

I haven’t posted as much because I found that when I lost Steve , my heart and life became hollow. Grief had consumed my heart and that’s all I had to follow. My heart. Half of which had just died.

So, I put my grief and heartache into writing. To use writing as therapy for myself rather than go to counseling which, for me, was a money saver. And I told my daughter , in December of 2024, I think I am finally ok. I feel like a whole person again.

Steve had told me , through a local, very on point, healing medium, that I was going to be ok, and I would live to be a very old woman. I hope it’s not past 95 for insurance reasons 🤣. I’ll see her again in March. And maybe those words of living to be old just give me the encouragement to go on and stay strong. and when I visit our daughter in LA and we have horrific turbulence and every one else screams, I remain calm because Steve has said I’ll live to be a very old woman, and I brave it by telling myself, Steve has said it’s not my time , I’m not very old.

But, in my times of doubt and in times of Steve being on hospice, he always said we were going to be ok. So I use those words of wisdom every time I have to make decisions, I put my faith in Him and God that I will be ok .

Steve was my being, God is my being…

To be or not to be