Please stop this carousel, you know, the beautiful one with the festively painted horses that go around and around with the music. The one where you can pull on the golden ring and then toss it into the box.

About two weeks ago, I thought I was on this ride that just wouldn’t stop. It seemed that everyone I knew and came in contact with, wanted to set me up with a friend.

My cousin wanted to set me up with a guy I knew in third grade but haven’t seen since. I mean, I could have passed him on the street and would not have known it was him. Turns out, he lost his wife just over a year ago in a car accident, and guess what ? He already has a girlfriend.

Then there’s my handyman guy who wants to set me up with another guy that he does work for. Turns out, this guy, John, has never been married. He golfs, bowls, has a sports car and is lonely. He also just had shoulder surgery and is taking medications for tremors due to the onset of Parkinson’s disease.

I feel bad for him, I’m sympathetic, but I’m not a free caretaker. I shouldn’t feel this way but don’t any of his golfing buddies know someone for him? How about a person at the country club he golfs at? I divorced my first husband and buried my second husband. I’m not sure I ever want to go through that again.

Steve and I met when I was in my early 30’s and he was approaching 40. We were young and healthy, in love, and as the live grew, so did his physical ailments. But they were not there initially, they came with age and we accepted them. We weren’t dealing with them from the onset of our relationship. They evolved. I’m not naive to think that we all come with baggage, restrictions, ailments in my age group. I just don’t think I want to deal with any of that from the get go. I know I sound picky but I’m not. I’m just facing the reality of people our age and what comes with it. I want to get off the carousel .

I also come with baggage. While, I’m physically healthy, I have our special needs daughter, who is 39, that lives with me. I take care of her. I don’t mind, but she takes up a lot of my time. So, actually. I’m still a caregiver. I don’t want to take care of more than one other person. I have to take care of me too !

Then, there’s the 45 year old who was Steve’s good friend and boss at Steve’s retirement job. But, cut me a break please. I’m 64 , how could someone think we were already a couple. Our son is 42, I could be his mom too . He’s a very nice guy and I lean on him for man-chore advice. Then I do the work if I can. We are truly just friends. But, one of my friends thought we were a couple! SMH!

I guess, what I’m really trying to say is, stop the carousel, I want to get off the horse, not back on it , at least at this time. Now I know who has someone they want to fix me up with and that is good to always have a plan b should I need one or feel ready. But I’m not there yet.

Let that carousel keep spinning for some one else, but not me