I was lost after Steve’s death, but now I am really where I’m supposed to be.

I’m not sure where that is exactly, but I’m here. Some people who have lost their spouses sell the house because it causes too much pain to live there. Some find living alone too much work to take care of the property. Others, move away, to try and get a fresh start. At least, that’s what I’m guessing. Me, I’m staying put. I think I would find it too painful and difficult for me to be in any of those situations. I would feel like I was running, running from the truth.

I love the house that we bought and continued to nurture it by improving things here and there. I’ve lived here for 27 years now. Yes, it’s a lot of work for me but I can count on my village for advice and help. I divide and conquer the chores that I can’t do so I’m not a burden on any one person. After all, I’m no one’s responsibility. And, this is a big AND, I can’t imagine packing up and going through all the “stuff” we’ve accumulated over the years. All the things from the kids on holidays that they made in school. Let them do it when it’s my turn to exit.

I would imagine, as time goes on, that I’ll continue to settle into my new life and my routine.

So, for the meantime, I’m right where I want to be. Where I need to be.