Sometimes I’m so proud of myself . What I can accomplish, things that I can figure out, just through reasoning. My mind is still sharp. My health is still good. At this point, right now, I have no physical limitations.

But, I do realize, some day I will.

So, I try so hard, to do everything on my own, without hiring a contractor or a landscaper, to complete most of what needs to be done. But I do count on others for advice or knowledge.

I will always defer to an exterminator to take care of my yellow jackets nests, and if I need a tree cut down, yeah, I’m not using Steve’s chainsaw, just to prove I can! Had I grown up in a lumberjack household, that would be another story.

But…

I grew up in a family of seven children. The first 4 of us were female and then the male came, and then a female and the last was a male.

So, us girls, we were the handy ones working with my dad, under the cars, handing him the tools or what he needed. We were his assistants. I never questioned or thought this was male work, I was just helping out my dad and that made me happy and feel like I was contributing and glad to assist. We would hop on the yard tractor to cut grass or push the mower to go around the flowers beds. I wasn’t a greasemonkey, to borrow a phrase from the 60’s, but I knew enough to help out.

My nickname growing up was “Butch”. Butch Damboo, to be exact, because apparently , I also couldn’t say my last name. So, was that where all my independence started? I don’t know either because I’m also a Taurus, if you follow the stars. I’m sure I’m a very hard person to love.

I just find it frustrating now, to re-gain my independence. After all, I’m no one’s responsibility.

It’s been just over 2 and a half years since Steve has passed. I’m trying my best to do everything, myself, but I will always need advice. After all, the mechanics of the yard tools has changed… winterizing, what needs stabilizers, battery tenders on this , I will always keep notes as I do with my gardening. I can manage all the things I’ve always done… house chores, decorating, cooking, but now… I’m doing the things Steve would do… grass cutting, pressure washing, weed whacking, outdoor painting and staining, tree trimming, mulching, spraying, and each of our lists of duties could go on.

My next challenge is pressure washing… never ever had I ever!

And I’m sure there are still many… never have I ever…

I’m about to pressure wash!

But… bring it on! ☮️❤️