I’ve completed one of my many goals for this year…

I went to a concert in Philadelphia, by myself. I drove to Philly, which took about an hour, no big deal. I booked a hotel for the night, took a Lyft to and from Lincoln Financial Field, drove home the next morning…. And enjoyed the concert. I actually enjoyed being out of my element for the night. I wasn’t in our bed, in our house, surrounded by the memories and thinking about the “what ifs.” I knew Steve was there with me so all was good. I still feel his protection around me . I know he was there because this was the next concert on our list, to see Ed Sheeran.

We had seen many other artists over the years – Elton John, Rod Stewart, Stevie Knicks, Blake Shelton, Paul McCarty… and the list goes on. It’s hard to believe it’s been over two years already and yet, no matter how many trips I take or adventures I go on, it’s like it was just yesterday that he left me but yet he’s still here with me. It’s hard to explain unless you’re the survivor.

And I’ve come to realize, I am a survivor. I’ve managed to make things work on my own – mostly, my own judgment. There is no one to run things by, to talk about options with. And because of this, I sometimes think, if I can survive losing my Steve, every one can survive. We can and are all survivors.

Tonight, there was drama with my sisters. I, truthfully, probably created some of it but not all of it. As always, we have to be specific when texting, because we can’t read what you are inferring and those reading it might interpret it differently in their own mind.

We are planning a trip together, us 4 sisters. Out of the blue, one sister texts to the group that my other sister should bring her daughter on the trip. Why? It’s not stated, just that the niece is invited. My opinion is, if one niece is invited, all nieces are invited. Apparently, my sister with the daughter doesn’t like to travel alone. Solution: book your flight with the other sister that you have travelled with many other times before, who also doesn’t like to travel alone and who doesn’t have a daughter. Simple answer and solution, in my opinion.

But, I’m sure I’m now looking like an outcast and a troublemaker, but that’s okay.

Why is it okay? Because I’ve developed a thicker skin when it comes to things, like standing up for myself, my beliefs, my opinions. And because…

When Steve’s obituary was written, it said he was survived by me, his spouse.

There it was in the newspaper for all to see…

I’m a survivor.