I keep looking back at times during my life, as we all do, and I think… I could have been this or I could have been that. I could have said this, or I could have done that.

I think about all the ways I could have been better… better at raising our kids, communicating with them, being closer and open with them.

Not that I think I was a failure, but I was on the cusp of the next generation of women who were making the choice to go to college and have a career, or to be a housewife raising a family. It kinda made being a mom submissive to anything else at the time. But, I loved being a mom. I just wish I could have been better or more assertive with all parental roles and the give and take.

But that was with my first marriage.

My marriage to Steve was totally different. He recognized my work schedule. And his work schedule gave him the benefit of being home before me. He would make dinner, since he loved to cook, and when I got home, whether it was 5 pm or 11 pm… I knew all the kids were taken care of. I didn’t have to worry or stress about what I was coming home to.

I could have thanked him more. I could have appreciated him more. I could have told him I loved him more.

Sometimes we are so wrapped up in the mechanics of life, we already think we’re doing our best.

But, truth be told, I could not have asked for a better partner in our short lives together.

I think, our lives are always filled with a lot more “ should haves”, could haves… and so we learn too late